Eating Crow [Starting Over]

Hi, A. E. here! First, yes, I am late with this month’s biweekly post. I said I’d post twice a month, so every other Friday. I was supposed to update last week, and had to push it off one more week. So I’ll be updating again next week with an A. E. Read’s post.

Today, I want to talk about eating crow, specifically, the crow I have to eat. I think we all know the idiom “eating crow” that means suffering humiliation by admitting having been proven wrong after taking a strong position.

And so, I humiliated myself, causing my own suffering, and I am going to be honest and upfront about it here on my author page.

It has to do with this post here that I uploaded August 20, 2021. It is called Why I Don’t Outline. I take a very strong stance about why I don’t outline and I’m fine with what I’ve said, I was being honest about why I don’t like outlining, and I also was open about how I got my debut novel The Other Side finished.

But I need to point out my own flaws.

Here are my own words.

Just make sure the way you write actually gets the writing done. If the “way you write” means you only get 100 words done a week…then maybe you need a different writing plan.

Me, Myself and I

I end that same post with this.

I know I can meet my December 31st, 2021 deadline. I can’t wait to upload a post saying that the first draft is completed.

Me, Myself and I

And now I can eat crow, this very good delicious crow.

Obviously, I did not get the writing done.

Yes, I did have health issues. But those health issues did have me in bed most of the time. I write in bed anyway. I was in and out of the hospital, but I had my laptop computer with me in the hospital, and I was in the bed. I could have been writing then as well.

Now my post I’m Back explained that I lost motivation and ambition. I think I can safely and more honestly rebrand those as laziness and procrastination.

I had fallen into the same trap that I’ve cautioned readers about on my own site.

Such as my posts on excuses, on the importance of setting deadlines, dangers of procrastination, and even a post on that I don’t believe in muses.

All of this…all of this is the heaping pile of crow on my plate and I’m sitting here eating it in front of you all. Talk about practice what you preach.

The thing is, I believe all of that I’ve said. I know all of that is true. I simply didn’t follow any of it, and that’s why I missed my own deadline, and why I’m sitting here 3 months into 2022 without a new book.

And so, I’m eating crow.

And now, I’m going to start over.

Start over as in following the writer advice I talk about and making a concentrated effort to be the person, and the author, that I want to be.

Push the button!

And its okay to start over. It doesn’t matter how many times you have to start over. Its okay to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and begin the journey again.

Sometimes it takes starting over a few times before we really get going. So I’ll eat my crow, choke it down, then get going again.

I haven’t given up, and that’s the main thing. I’m not giving up. I will still write Emmy Bell and Zippy Mae and all of my other novels that I have planned. They will get written and published and out there for sale.

I missed this deadline when I said I’d do it and it hurts and its humiliating. Okay. I messed up. I can do better, and I will do better.

I can learn from my mistakes. I can admit I was wrong. Its me who needs a different writing plan. I didn’t get the writing done.

So I’ll make the changes that need making. I’ll set the deadlines. I’ll cut out the excuses. I can do these things. If I need to reread my old posts, and let my past self give my present self a butt kicking, then I’ll do that too!

This crow is really good! I mean, it tastes great! I can’t wait to have another serving!

No, I’d rather not have more crow.

What I’d rather have is a second book published. I’d rather have a project I’ve been working on announced and completed by now. I’d rather have some other things I’ve wanted done up and running right now.

These aren’t done because of me. So I can change that and fix that by starting over.

Thanks to everyone who’s been supporting me so far, and I’ll work harder.

I won’t give up, and I won’t slack off.

I’ll make my dreams come true. I’m not going to be a wannabe. I’ll be a real author.

I’ll do it without eating anymore crow please, I’ve had my full.

And as always, while I write my cat Aomine keeps me company by my side.

my best friend and my super model

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Tira says:

    Acknowledging our shortcomings is so hard. Case in point: I have spent the last few months hiding from a Facebook writing group because I have not written for months. I was/am ashamed to admit my lack of motivation and pure laziness. I was/am healthy bodied while reading all this time instead of writing. I am regretting all the writing, art and fitness goals still set at “to be worked on” rather than as “works in progress”. This post is such comfort and has inspired me to re-focus and get back to being the story-teller dream of being. Thank you so much for sharing your ups and downs with us. I join you in starting again.

    Like

    1. Hi Tira, long time no talk. Yes its hard to eat crow, it doesn’t taste very good! Don’t feel ashamed or regret for too long. What’s done is done, what’s past is past. What matters now is what we’re gonna do now. I’m so glad I was able to comfort and inspire you! I appreciate you reading my posts here and commenting so much. Let’s start again together and make our dreams come true.

      Like

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